Are you crazy?

<==yup, there is a place called Foamhenge!

If you don’t want to reach for the Kleenex then pass this one by. So many people said to me when I started this journey, “Are you crazy?” Like so many things in my life, I listen to everyone say that I’m crazy, then just go on doing what I’m doing because life is all about getting on with things (I heard that at the rest stop on the Parkway) isn’t it? If I’d listened to people I’d never have so many races under my belt, not gold medals but lots of COOL medals, but who cares, it’s a MEDAL! I’d never put myself out there and let people in with my writing (lord knows I do better at writing that the other touchey feeley stuff) and enjoy hearing others say they’ve read it and enjoyed it! This time I put caution in the wind and gasp, went without a plan to travel the Blue Ridge Parkway.

I am so glad I did this and there are many reasons why, so here are a few (cue Kleenex here):
Watching my son catch a butterfly and proudly “save” it into the flowers.
Watching another draw in his field journal of the snakes we saw.
Walking the trails and explaining why the trees from the Southern part of the Parkway are SO different from the Northern part of the parkway!
Lighting my first fire – WITH the help of a firestarter.

Learning to rethink people at the campground, how generous, how open, how helpful how funny they are at this special place tucked away from the cynical world. The “we’s all family” at the campground is what they really mean! I wish I were as open as all the special people we’ve met along the way (they love my children by the way, can’t blame them eh?)

The most important reason is watching the look of wonder on their faces. I’ve learned TOO YOUNG that life is short and you live in the moment and hold what’s dear close and let those distractions go! Both of my parents have passed and each time I experience something really cool with my boys it makes me miss them, I remember those times with them exploring and learning, the yelling at us, frustration, my Dad’s stinky pants but it’s these things that teach our children to be who they want to be and know that we love them. So if it’s Max’s stinky feet on the trip, or what explodes out of the refrigerator on each turn of the road, I love having these memories not just for fodder when I’m in my wheelchair at the old folks home but for my boys to use as a role model for their children!

Take that time to show people you love that you love them. What’s on your agenda for today?

Mountain Hair!

I realized why everyone wears funny hats in the mountains! Every tourist attraction you visit there’s people in straw hats, fishing hats, bonnets, kerchiefs, pith helmets and I just found out the reason why – it’s MOUNTAIN HAIR!

There’s something in the water up here and that will after the first mountain shower make your hair look like shit for the rest of your trip. Maybe hairdressers have some unholy alliance with the mountains to remind people that they desperately need a haircut when they get home!
Mountain hair sounds really nice when you describe it as: windswept curls framing her face as he looked over the moors at her, his long lost love from another time. But here’s how Mountain Hair is really described: The straw like hair stood straight up as the humidity pulled it out until there was full kink. The hair then settled like a bee’s nest on top her face making it look small and old as he ran away from her in the other direction.

To keep from scaring away friends and neighbors, we in the mountains just wear hats-that way no one really knows what is going on underneath the cover up, especially that single guy looking at the girl of his dreams from under that very fashionable straw hat. Keep the hat on until the marriage vows are said, shot gun or no shot gun cause we are in the mountains, then let them know that they are committed when the hat comes off! He’ll buy you every fashionable hat to cover up when you’re back in the mountains, and he’ll know why!

Any other places that wreck havoc on your hair?

Staring into the abyss of hell...

So the three of us stood at the sewage pumping station staring into the hole in the side of the RV. After a week in the albatross, we finally succeeded in filling up the "black water", even the term black water was an attempt to make it sound better, but black water coming out of the black hole didn't sound good to me. I was stilling to keep me my mind off the thought that gallons of urine were sitting in there waiting to come out.

Wolf was holding the instruction manual with the RV, and stared at the hole. "At least all we did was pee in the RV, right Mommy?" Yup, that was the one shining light in all of this, we only did "number 1" in the RV even if a few times it meant an emergency swerve into the visitor center for "number 2." How could three people make enough "number 1" to fill the tanks of the RV? Maybe that was why we were so slow going up those last few mountains.

"It says the hose is next to the hole," Wolf says looking at the picture. I look and sure enough there's another flap that says "sewer hose" things are labeled correctly. I open it and start pulling the hose out. Both boys gasp and step back when they see that part of the hose is duct taped. Not a good sight for all of us. This obviously meant there was a hole that was fixed, but was it really fixed?

With the hose out we go and take the cover off the opening and some black and blue water pours out. Both boys jump back and run over leaving me on my own to do this, thanks a lot. Now two cars are waiting behind me ready for their dump. I wonder how much "black water" the big momma could hold! It's pretty easy setup, hook the hose onto the hole (me, anally double checking three times that the hose is properly locked) then comes the moment of truth, I had to trust the hose and let loose all that "number 1" and hope that it goes down the drain. I look at the boys who have taken another step back and take a deep breath and pull.

The hose inflates with all our pee and it goes past the duct taped part and into the hole! In the span of 5 minutes we're cleaned out of "black water", I then let all the "grey water" or the dish water go to clean out the hose! That's it? I wonder, what was I so worried about. As I take off the hose a little blue stuff splashes on my arm above my glove and with a gag I realize that was what I was worried about! Nothing that two gallons of hand sanitizer can take care of. The albatross is clean and ready for her trip back. The bathroom is now sealed with police tape as we have to return it empty.

I give all the people behind me a thumbs up, they smile the campground smile with a thumbs up back and we pull out of our last camping site.

"I have to go to the bathroom...." I hear my youngest say from the back.

Fish Out of Water - Off The Beaten Path

Ever had one of those moments where you realize that you are totally out of your element, and it’s pretty hilarious? I had that moment this morning.

So I drive down this windy road into the town of Bedford because the needle on the albatross is only at a quarter tank and the way this baby sucks on the gas teat, that’s only getting me as far as the end of the driveway of the campground. I pull into the first gas station I see, Frank’s Gas and Groceries! (mistake number one, I really don’t know Frank). I park the albatross and walk into the grocery store and stop.

There’s about 6 men in there, all in overalls some camoflague some not, most with either camo truckers hats but a few with cowboy hats all standing at the register chewing the fat, I mean chewing the tobacco. The all pause in what they are saying and stare at me.

Here’s what they see, the big albatross pulls up with a cruiseamerica sticker on the side consisting of kids smiling stupidly from the Grand Canyon (I’m beginning to hate those kids) that almost takes out the trash can as we pull next to the pump. Here I come in my life is good pajama pants, life is good t-shirt, Birkenstocks, and a Run Happy hat on my head with my little Sherpani wallet hanging on my hip.

Back to the silence that greets me. I figure that at this point I’m committed, the albatross would use the last of the gas trying to get out of the station so I had to get gas. “Do I pay ahead of time,’ I ask no one in particular.

“Naw, just go pump yer gas missy.” Missy? Missy? I get ready to say something but the hunting knives on the walls and the fishing lures along with ammo says, Kel just keep your mouth shut and there won’t be any banjo music. So I go and put the pump in the albatross and clean out the lunchables, pop tarts, empty bottle from spilled drinks. I come back around and there’s one of the guys standing there holding the gas pump.

“It says that you can’t leave these unattended. One lady drove off with the pump still in the car, spilt gas evrawhere.” He pulls the pump out and puts it away. Again I think what’s with the automatic shut off on the pump? I do know how to pump gas. Kel, just go with it. I go past the Boonesfarm and Wild Irish Rose to find some milk and OJ, I add in a sweet tea hoping to fit in.
I go back in to pay with my gas they are all still standing there holding cups of coffee. I look up and say, “What’s a bear checking station?” Pointing to the sign.

“They bring a bear in and we chekit,” the guy replies as he swipes my card, 80 bucks in gas for those damn smiling kids!
“Chekit?”
“Yup, they kill the bear, we check the weight and stuff.”

I leave without telling them about the Momma Bear and three baby bears I saw up at Peaks of Otter, Max wouldn’t forgive me if they got “checked”. I go out and get into my rolling advertisement and notice that they are all watching me out the window to see if I can get the RV out of the station and on the road. I’m proud to say that we didn’t take the gas pump with us and only knocked over one trash can as we hit the road!

Bears, Bridges and Buh Bye!

We woke to the sounds of silence, glad that our lantern held out for the night enjoying a cool breeze through the windows of the RV. Everyone was still feeling a little ill from the seafood buffet but it was worth it! Wolf was still talking about the lobster the next morning! Peaks of Otter on a Friday night is the ticket!

There’s signs all over the Virginia picnic grounds and campgrounds that it IS BEAR country and you need to watch what you do with your trash. As we pulled out of the campground, a bear ran in front of the RV! Max and I screamed together, then screamed again as it was followed by two cubs! Still sitting there in shock, we gasped as a third cub followed suit! Max, aka Nature Boy was so excited to see a “real bear in the wild!”

We drove into the town of Bedford for gas and a signal (see separate post, it’s that good) and got back on our way down the parkway! We stopped at Abbott Lake and took the trail around, enjoying listening to frogs sing ending up again at the Peaks of Otter Lodge! Max said it was a sign that we need to go in there for breakfast but I poo pooed that idea and we got back in the RV.

We stopped at the James River and enjoyed playing with the old timey toys of Appalachia. Wolf went to work on a nail puzzle while Max and I played with the Jacobs Ladder and other toys. Don’t you love it when someone tries to turn things into a teaching moment and the only one listening is Mom? The nice ranger and I had an in depth talk about how ingenious the mountain people were to come up with the Jacob’s Ladder and other toys to keep the children busy. When he tried to include the boys in our conversation both boys had that look of, “gee mister, we went to school for 9 months, we don’t want to learn ANYTHING this summer.” They couldn’t help but listen in.

As the mile markers ticked from 40 to 30 to 20, I asked at one Overlook if they wanted to stop for a picture, Max replied, “It looks like all the other oberlooks, mountains and mountains and mountains!” I guess in a way we were starting to get a little burnt out of all the “beautiful views!” I heard Wolf say to Max in the back, “If I hear one more time about how HARD the mountain people lived……” Made me want to take that Wii and shove it, well…..
We hit mile marker 0 and I felt exhilaration! We did it, another thing checked off of the bucket list! It felt good to finally see this accomplishment when I started out scared to death about pulling out of the parking lot! I climbed mountains, I took out construction cones, I cleaned up spills and we hit the goal we’d set. Now THAT is priceless.

Finally off the beaten path, we decided to stay in Natural Bridge, Virginia and finish up our trip with a trip to one of the seven wonders of the world! It is a wonder that we finished without killing each other so we splurged and signed up for the Monster Museum (tomorrow) the Natural Bridge and the Wax Museum. The Wax Museum for me was VERY creepy. All the mannequins in there had that serial rapist, killer, Hannibal Lecter, Jason look on their face and the real eyes staring out creeped me out. I walked through amazed that the boys weren’t creeped out at all, making sure that no one posed as a wax figure only to grab at us (more girlish scream than the June bug). The exhibit finished with the last supper complete with Jesus on the cross then the Resurrection.

Natural Bridge lived up to all it was billed, the natural rock bridge amazing as we walked under it! We followed a trail sweating our patooties off to a waterfall and back. George Washington carved his initials into the wall of the bridge and we didn’t find them until the way back when Wolfgang pointed them out. The boys loved the walk and said that this was the best day ever because they saw a bear, caught a caterpillar and found George Washington’s initials! Little things make them happy.

Finally, we started at a KOA campground and we’re ending at a KOA campground, though this spot is not as good as the first as we feel like we’re in the crooked house as the RV leans to the left. There’s a Christmas in July party and all the full timers have their RV’s decked in Christmas light while all I have to offer is one lunchable and a lantern. Oh well, we did find George Washtington’s initials. So when they start the karaoke and the first song is “I’m too sexy” it’s time for bed for our two little wonders in the world, Monster Museum awaits along with Foamhedge in the morning! Have you seen any of the natural wonders of the world?

Falling off the grid!

After leaving our “resort” campground, we figured the term resort was for the super bathrooms and washing machines plus that welcome free wifi! We started at the very spot they broke ground to start the parkway, amazed that we’d come over 200 miles and were quickly bearing down on the last leg of our trip. Once we left North Carolina and moved into Virginia, it seemed that we moved into civilization but left behind all the trappings of civilization – all cell phone reception died!

I was excited to stop at the Blue Ridge Music Museum because I love bluegrass and applachian music, I figured this would be a great place to teach my children a little about the heritage sitting only an hour away from home. Unfortunately the museum was still in building stage and there wasn’t anything there, just a harp with instructions on how to play Mary Had A Little Lamb and a gift shop. (Joy as they started on me about buying them this and that, we settled on a Blue Ridge Parkway guitar pick for Daddy.) The good part was that I was a little stressed about getting down the road and with nothing to see it made hitting the road a little earlier than usual a good idea.

Our next stop is one of my favorite parts of the parkway. We stopped at an overlook, read a sign that said easy 20 minute hike so went off into the woods. The hike looped by a cool stream and both boys started begging to cool off. I made sure neither side ended in a 40 foot waterfall and let them have at it. I love watching kids play in a stream, they looked for crayfish, salamanders, then practiced putting their faces in the ice cold water. I stuck my feet in and on the sultry day had to admit it sure did feel good! The parkway is full of these little treasures, places you can leave the world and let kids be kids and do the things you enjoyed doing as a child.

We passed Mrs. Puckett’s cabin along the parkway and this is where I am amazed that Virginia side of the parkway feels like family connected. The Southern Part was rugged, remote, not many roads off the Parkway where Virginia was full of roadside grocery stores, farms and family. As we walked up to the cabin and started reading about Mrs. Puckett, two men got out of a pickup truck and walked around the cabin too. They came up to the sign and said, “Mrs. Puckett delivered our mother, my brother and I are just fooling around today.”
Mrs. Puckett lived for 102 years in this tiny cabin, bearing 24 (yes, john and Kate plus 8) 24 children none of which lived pass infancy. I couldn’t imagine bearing 24 children, then I couldn’t imaging losing that many! So Mrs. Puckett did what she did best, she delivered 1000 babies as a midwife, the last baby delivered the year she died. What a testament to being a woman, being strong, and being alive! Then that sense of family, that everyone is connected here as the two men walked around the cabin talking to each other.

That same sense of family at Mabry Mills, a grist/saw mill. The park rangers told of the family and as they talked about Mr. Mabry they called him Uncle Ed, like he was their uncle. The families here lived in hard times but it didn’t stop their sense of kinship, that everyone was connected whether it’s Mrs. Puckett delivering babies in payment for food which she shared with others to Mrs. Mabry running his saw mill once a year to cut lumber for himself and his neighbors!

The highlight of the boys day was all the animals we saved! Max found two caterpillars, one on the inside roof of the RV! We lost that one two days ago and I guess in its desperate attempt to escape it became visible on the roof, boy he laughed about that one for a while. Then we stopped and saved a turtle from the middle of the road, finishing up our day with wild turkey sightings and deer sightings! Nature Boy as we call him, loved that day.
Wolf on the other hand loved the seafood buffett at the Peaks Of Otter Lodge! We all got a whole lobster with crab legs then all kinds of seafood-two trips to the seafood buffett then three trips to the dessert bar, I knew I’d made my money! Amazing that you could get that type of food right off the parkway!

Finally we really fell off the grid. We tried to find a campground off the parkway and ended up on a gravel road to nowhere. Both boys kept telling me that they knew it would be nice until we stopped at the Triple Oak Lodge and found a mobile home with a toilet sitting outside the front door. Back to the Parkway and here I sit back at the Peaks of Otter Campground, generator running because it’s SO HOT out there and not a since bar on the phone or computer. Still typing on the computer but disconnected from the world.

I think my “hairbrained” idea was a good one when I heard the boys sitting in the background plotting their next RV trip with the “Big Momma” and Mommy at the wheel. They both came and asked if we could drive Skyline Drive because they didn’t want the RV trip to end, chalk another one up to Mommy coming up with a great idea, now if I could just keep the refrigerator from exploding whenever someone opens it! Any other roadtrips we can put on our list of maybes?

The Perfect S'More!

<--See we really can build a campfire!

Start with lighting the perfect fire, in our case that consisted of two fire starters and 12 pounds of paper, then another firestarter keeping it going until the real logs caught. During which time we gather marshmallows from the child hiding in the closet eating them as fast as he can, chocolate which was hidden in a part of the fridge that no child would look and graham crackers (there were plenty cause they’re considered healthy.

The goods needed for the s’mores are agreed upon by all ages, the art of toasting is where the expertise comes in. There’s a way to toast to perfect and my son carefully explains it to me:
“Mom, you take the marshmallow and you can’t get it TOO close to the fire. You want it to get gooey but not catch on fire.”

My other son corrects, “No if it catches on fire then you get the black stuff that tastes so good!”
He is corrected again, “You want the marshmallow hot because that’s how the chocolate is gooey on the graham cracker.”

So translated you must have the marshmallow hot enough to melt the chocolate. It can be burnt or it can be toasted it just needed to be warm enough to melt the chocolate.
They then show me that you then take the graham crackers with the chocolate and smash the marshmallow in between and pull it off the stick, this way your fingers stay clean.
Yeah right! The fingers stay clean until the eating begins, then they get covered with marshmallow at which point you then put the sticky fingers all over your shirt, your pants, your brother’s shirt, his pants and then move to the important places, your brother’s hair, your mother’s favorite blouse etc.

There’s an art to creating s’mores, and there’s an art to sharing the love whether it’s giving out pieces for everyone to eat or leaving pieces on people unbeknownst to them to take and share the love out!

One more little trick, the fire went out and Max still wanted one more s’more, so we made the roasted marshmallow with the lighter! We called it quick roasting. Even if you are not enjoying the big outdoors, if there’s a need for a s’more the lighter is as far as you have to go!
Happy Eating!

Part Two - Is this it? Are we really there?

Little Switzerland part two It wasn’t a town we expected but it sure did make a mark on food and hospitality!

We left Little Switzerland and continued down the parkway, looking for a great place to hike. On a whim we stopped at milepost 320.8 for a short hike called Chestoa View. What an amazing place! Wolf and Max caught a butterfly (I think it was on its last legs) on the way and put that with Little Junie in the bug house. We walked a short way to a stone ledge that sat on the valley that went on forever! You could see Table Rock to the right and out across the valley, the cloud made shadows on the mountains with trees that stretched forever! I was commenting on the view when I looked down below where I was standing there were two rattlesnakes! I think they were more excited about the butterfly and rattlesnakes than anything else on the trip.
We spent the next 45 minutes discussing where to let Buttie the Butterfly go along the drive then decided on a nice patch of flowers next to the Moses Cone Manor House. What amazed me about Moses Cone is that A) someone lived there and B) that they gave it to the Parkway. I pictured a leisurely stroll through the craft museum but as both boys whined about wanting something, it was a quick in and out with empty hands all around.

The next great hike was The Cascades, a short 30 minute down to a waterfall. This is the best part of the Parkway. You pull off, get out of your car, then 10 minutes later only hear the sounds of nature, or in my case the sounds of nature and your children arguing as you walk down to a water fall. This place was beautiful, log bridges over streams, stone steps, the a wonderful water fall to boot. On the way back, Wolf holds up a plant and says, “Is this poison ivy?” I look at it and answer, “No, that’s poison sumac.” Luckily Pam Melang gave me the idea to always be prepared and there’s calamine lotion in the bags.

We leave the rugged wilderness of the Southern part of the Parkway and the Northern part is a totally different animal. Rather than traveling cliffs and the sides of mountains, we move into rural farmland with communities and farms butting right up to the parkway. There’s still the views that last forever and the last one before we stop for the night makes me feel at home. I’m looking out over the mountains and there’s Winston Salem, so close! I say, “Do you want to spend the night at home?” “NO!!” They exclaim, “and not stay on the campground?” Here we sit 45 minutes from home on the North Carolina/Virginia State line!

So last good story of the day, we make reservations at a campground and as the GPS takes us over there we pull into this BEAUTIFUL resort, wooden buildings next to each RV, tennis courts, putt putt, waterfountains, they boys get excited until….
“Lady, you’re at the one down the road, just go a little further and you’ll find it.”
Ours looks like tornado alley, flat land without a single tree and only RV’s. We pull in and park and say a prayer that storms stay away at least for the night because this place would draw them like a magnet! Or if my husband was here, I’d be pregnant by morning – yeah, bad joke.

Have any favorite spots on the parkway?

Day 4 pt 1- Are we there yet? Really? We're there?

I’m always amazed at the people living at the campgrounds. Riverside RV Resort was managed by a couple who had a HOUSE outside of Asheville! There must be a real sense of community when it comes to the campground that someone would want to move away from Asheville for 6 months and live at the campground! Can anyone give me advice on that one?

My morning blissful sleep was interrupted by a June bug that decided to drop from the ceiling onto my cheek as I drooled into my pillow. With a girlish scream and a severe knock on the head (I was in the top bunker) I started the day with a smile. Little Junie, as Max named her was quite fine and resting comfortably in his bug habitat.

We left and went over to the Mineral Museum and researched the different minerals mined in North Carolina. Did you know that they mine iron in Avery County? We were trying to find where diamonds were found but only 14 diamonds have been found in North Carolina and NONE of them in the Melang backyard! We left the museum with gems in our pockets, a magnifying glass for study AND a book about gems and North Carolina! Nothing like free attractions that come with the Blue Ridge Parkway!

We got back on the parkway and started our trip, 75 miles or more our destination. Two places I’ve learned to love since hitting the road in an RV, Dollar General and Super Walmart-both have all the provisions necessary for a successful night of “roughing it” The Dollar Generals were in close proximity to the campground while the Super Walmart provided the wallet busting stockup of lots of things you REALLY don’t need!

After the museum we wanted to stop for lunch in Little Switzerland. Outside Atlanta there’s another little Bavarian type village with Der Camera Shop, Der McDonalds, Der Krispy Kreme and I wasn’t sure if this was like that. We passed three buildings and drove down a little bit then figured we must have missed it so we turned back and passed those three building again. Finally I went into the post office asked where Little Switzerland was….
“You’re here.”
“Where?”
“Here, you’re here.”
“But I am looking for Little Switzerland.”
“Right here.”
"Where?"
"Here!"

Turns out that Little Switzerland has a population of 40 people and those three buildings, oh including an Inn at the top of the hill! This little town packed a BIG punch! We had an amazing lunch at the Little Switzerland Café (the only café) that had some of the best vinegar BBQ I’ve had in a long time! Bought some for my brother in law the resident BBQ expert for the next time he invites us over!

Still writing.......

Finding the Top of the World!

We continued down the Parkway with every intention of hitting our mark on target with mileage. But just like life, a quick left turn and we threw caution in to the wind! This left turn was to Mt.Mitchell State Park, technically not part of the parkway for so close you say it’s like a cousin. What attracted us to this part was that this was the highest point on East of the Mississippi at a soaring 6,684 above sea level!

Everyone started complaining after we left lunch and continued up the road to the summit of the mountain. Just like Pavlov’s dogs, the minute my children are out of the RV and see a gift shoppe, they start with, “Can we get something?” I say, “Jeez, we don’t need to buy something at every gift shoppe,” as I hope they don’t notice that I’m putting on a new long sleeve T-shirt that I bought at the last gift shoppe.

“Why does it have a M on it?” They ask looking at the sticker running along my boob.

“That’s for Melang.” I say as I pull it off. I guess I’m not going to get away with that one as easily the next time around.

We walk up to the top of the world and everything starts to connect. I go from being unfamiliar with the Parkway to starting to recognize mountains! I can make out Table Rock (got lost hiking on that one), then Hawksbill and our beloved Beech Mountain! They boys do the usual, “What’ so cool about this?” as I take my pictures. We go into the museum of Mt, Mitchell and I can only handle about 5 minutes of fun of them touching everything and trying to play with every exhibit.

Max rescues a grasshopper outside the museum by almost smashing it with his hand, but as we put it in the grass we high five that it will LIVE (I think)!

We finally make our mileage on the parkway and end up at the Spruce Pine Campground. I am always so amazed at how friendly everyone is here at the campground, it’s like even with me pulling in with the obnoxious looking rental RV, I’m already part of the club! They give Max a tour of a “BIG MOMMA” RV and he comes out with the “I can never go back to our dinky little thing” again look on his face. I fumble with matches and newspaper and hot air (my own)getting a fire started for our dinner. Thinking I’m doing pretty good as Pioneer Woman I didn’t realize that my boys were already in the camper eating Lunchables and “were full” when it came to aluminum foil packets of fresh veggies! Oh well, we’ll eat some fruit and call it a day!

Wait a minute, campfire? Marshmallows? Chocolate? Graham Crackers? Do I hear s’mores? Can’t let a good campfire go to waist, just let it go to my waist is always what I say!

Day 3 I dreamed of Ireland....

Riding along the parkway, we’re starting to find a routine. So far today, knock on wood, we haven’t spilled any drink in the RV, though the smell of sour milk is a subtle reminder that we are newbies, but we’re not going to cry over spilt milk.

We got back on the road and for a change; things went pretty uneventful, the beauty of the drive at each curve o f the road. The Southern end of the parkway is different from the parts I know well, you feel part of the landscape, the road cut into the side of the mountain, so each curve amazing as you look down the side of a mountain into the valley. Traveling from 400 down to 350, we enjoyed the tunnels (made by Spanish masons when the parkway was built), some short, some long. Built when the parkway was an infant, they’ve grown in to part of the mountain, covered in moss with their gray stones standing silently as the RV sped (OK, putted) through them.

Hitting the top of the parkway, Craggy Gardens, we were transported to a different place in time. Here we felt like we’d stepped off the mountains of North Carolina and back into the Burren of Ireland when we visited 5 years ago. The wind howled through the visitor’s center, I overheard the park employee say, “It’s pretty constant up here.” The rocky outcroppings, cool wind and lush green had us looking for a leprechaun around each corner of the trail we walked.

The valley below was beautiful, the reservoir , the tall mountains with the clouds creating dark shadows on them, only on closer perusal did we notice the tunnel on the road past the visitor’s center.

The parkway is getting more traffic, guess we're reaching the busy part. We’re passing more cyclists, more motorcycles, cars and yes, other RV’s. Max is now in the habit of telling me that each RV is much better than ours. "That one is like the BIG MOMMA, we're the little boy." "That one has bicycles on the back." I snort back to him, “I bet those RV’s don’t smell like sour milk and feet.” Two motorcyclists thanked us for pulling over on one section as we climbed a mountain, letting the cars pass then getting back on the road. Guess he wasn’t the one flipping me the bird. I still laugh thinking about that guy yesterday, stuck behind us for 20 minutes doing 20 up the mountain while my little cherubs made faces at him.

We’re sitting eating the biggest bowl of peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream I’ve ever seen looking out the window at a view that goes on forever. Just a short turn off the parkway and you find little gems like the Mt. Mitchell State Park Restaurant, dining at the highest restaurant in Eastern America! After a short hike to the summit, then back to the sour milk and feet smelling RV, but it’s our RV! Do you have any favorite spots of the parkway?

Off the Beaten Path - Musings

Few observations of our life on the road!

Everyone I talk to looks at the RV and the first thing out of their mouth is, “So what type of gas mileage does she get?” I’ve been thinking of an answer and my best answer is, “She sucks gas like a sailor on leave. When I start to climb a mountain, I watch the gas needle dump to E the minute my foot starts pressing on the gas pedal. I should just open a second mortgage and let the gas station take automatic payments from the one each time I fill up.”

There’s gear and there’s GEAR. We arrive at the campground and everyone around us is veterans at the roughing it! We walk past sites with tablecloths, flowers put out, bug zappers hung, grills rolled out. Then we get to our campsite, and the boys get splinters in their butt from the old picnic table, and all I have is a lantern and chair. I could go to the Super Walmart and buy out the garden section to create our own little oasis but heck, we’re supposed to be roughing it!

Then there’s having a plan. Everyone asks me my plan and I have to admit that we’re pretty much winging it! We have 75 miles of the parkway to cover and anything in between is up to the family. These people are serious though, one explained in full detail how he planned to make it across in the United States in a SPECIFIC amount of time (I forgot what he said, one glass of wine later). Then at 5am I heard the roar of an engine then again at 6am, man, these people are serious about their travel plans!

Then there’s the word to the wise, put your kids on the Sahara diet. Nothing liquid allowed in the RV while it is moving. They drink their drink, then set it on the table just like at home, but this home makes an evil right turn and guess who’s cleaning up Cheerwine! We’ve had 5 spills so far in the RV and I think the 6th will be me spilling blood as I slit my wrists!

Life is good on the road and in the campground. We learn that people are people, those that live in the tornado alley mobile homes, to those that are traveling cross country as part of retirement. Everyone is family when it comes to the open road, they’ll even help you with a cell phone signal as you climb up on top of the RV! What adventures have you had on the road?

Indians, Mountains and Bears Oh My!

We started our day still at the campground. I was still sucking on the teat of free wifi while the boys met some new friends at the pool so I accomplished quite a bit until it was time to go. We were supposed to start on Milepost 469 but as we were driving there a big sign Cherokee made me veer off the beaten path. I wanted to visit the Cherokee Reservation because I thought this would be a great experience for the boys.

Cherokee wasn’t really like I expected. Dwarfed by the HUGE casino, it’s a true tourist trap. Indian dancing lessons, lots of moccasins, arts and craft and blow guns (yes, they started begging immediately). We paid 22 dollars for the Cherokee cultural museum which was pretty cool, but I could have bagged that and paid the 15 dollars for the petting zoo and they’d be happy. For another dollar, we took apples and as we waved them at the bears they did tricks for them! (Guess on the Indian reservation you can do this) Bengal Tigers, White Tigers, Max was in heaven! So there I was trying to put some culture in them when all I really needed to do was feed some apples to the animals! I must admit it was the cleanest petting zoo I’ve ever seen and they were really friendly (guess you would too if you made 15 in 10 minutes along with a buck for 4 pieces apple, 2 pieces of lettuce and a piece of bread?) We left with two arrows, one of which was immediately broken as we pulled out of the parking lot.

We started at milepost 469 of the parkway and it was hilarious, every turn had something flying out of the cabinets, Max spent the rest of the day dodging things! Another spilled drink (really!) Wolf hit in the head by the bed ladder and Max falling into the shower I started hitting the curves with a devilish gleam in my eye!

We were chugging up one hill and when we finally hit the passing lane the guy sped past us with a very pleasant “bird” in my direction. I said, “Man what’s his problem?” Both boys shrugged, “Maybe he didn’t like us making faces out of the back window and sticking our tongue out at him.” Do ya think? We're making a sign that says, "that's as fast as she goes!"

We made it to the highest point of the parkway, we stopped and hiked even with the threat of thunder, everyone whining the whole way up then oohing and aahing with the view. When I stopped for a picture there was a, “Mommy! Not another picture!” It really is beautiful country right outside our backyard, I told the boys, “There’s no way you cannot believe in God when you see something like this!”

We’re at our second campground, this one full of full time residents,the kind that tornadoes are looking for, the boys looking at all the tableclothes, chairs, funky lights, golf carts and they have me holding a ham sandwich and a lantern. They’ll laugh about this later, that in the scheme of things we really were roughing it! How would you define roughing it?

We's all family at the campground!

The drive from Banner Elk to Charlotte to pick up the big albatross was full of, “Are we there yet’s” I knew the boys were excited to start the adventure, I was making lists in my mind of things I needed and things I needed to do. After getting lost several times, I realized two things – I was woefully unprepared and I hated driving through Charlotte.

The RV sat like a big albatross, the picture of kids smiling on one side (damn they look happy) and a lighthouse on the other. We were a driving advertisement and inside the RV I felt like we were reliving the Robin Williams movie! It only took 5 minutes on the road for someone to have to use the bathroom, I was surprised they actually waited that long! Then there was the WWF smackdown on who got to use the bathroom first, the oldest getting the youngest in a head lock and getting his way. The bathroom duly christened and I was glad that was out of the way.
Second christening by my children was spilling. We bought the gallon of fruit punch and sweet tea, then as soon as I took a turn the fridge opened and the fruit punch spilled all over the floor. Wolfgang cleaned it up and a quick right turn had the sweet tea flying and another cleanup job. He came up and sat next to me saying, “This was the worst ever, I spilled all the drinks, my jeans got soaked and my lounge pants got tea on them.” I just laughed that until I walked back and my feet stuck to the floor – so I felt right at home, the smell of punch and feet sticking to the floor, just needed someone to miss the toilet! Not to mention everyone's red hands from cleaning up the stuff, too much dye we didn't need to drink that crap anyway,

We had every intention of staying on the parkway but when I called, they explained there’s no electric and no water and we wanted to rough it, but we really didn’t want to ROUGH IT. So I called the KOA campground and they said, “Do you want the pull through RV spot complete with cable, electric, free Wifi, water and sewer?” I told her I loved her and we’d be there in 15 minutes.

What’s great about the campgrounds is that everyone you meet is just like that family in the Robin Williams movie, we are all family at the campground. I must have had that “Oh shit” look on my face trying to pull into the spot and immediately I had people around helping me. Mr. and Mrs. Rude (their real name, really!) were definitely not rude as they explained I needed to turn the generator off when hooked to the power or I’d blow something I can’t name again. They hooked up my power, and my water, explained the cable TV AND brought over their wine opener when I stood there holding a full bottle sobbing (well, not really….I just sat it there hoping they’d offer!) Married 45 years, he told me that it hasn’t been a bed of roses but they both have mellowed with age (ain’t we all).

So we sit under the stars, listening to cicadas, watching Max catching fireflies, while Wolfgang playing the Wii and life is good! Mr. Rude said it perfectly, “Don’t worry about the small stuff, it all works out in the big picture!”

Towels used to clean up fruit punch, sheets on the bed, how do I work out not a single pot in the RV??

How to Properly Rough It...

The Blue Ridge Parkway runs 469 miles and with our plan we’ll start at the Southern Most point by the Cherokee National Forest and run to milepost 1 in Virginia. The boys and I are making lists of what we need for “roughing it.”

Here’s a few essentials:
Senseo Coffee Maker – I do have to drive in the morning
2 Nintendo DS’s plus 32 games
1 LMax plus 10 games
Video Player plus 126 videos
Wii with two controllers along with 15 Wii games
2 computers with speakers
One wireless hotspot
4 ebooks about the Blue Ridge Parkway

Now to some real essentials:
Two long plastic gloves
One pair of goggles
One hazmat suit
Lantern
We’re still figuring out how many lunchables the refrigerator fits
Camp chairs
Starter Logs for help with those fire starts
Bottle of wine

We’re roughing it on the Blue Ridge Parkway because each of the campgrounds we’re staying in do not have electrical AND I have to figure out how to build a fire (cue in the song, “Dahling I love you but give me park avenue), we’ll have to find a way to wash clothes and take showers along with putting the cherubs on a schedule of “#2 on demand” or, “we’re on the campground time to do whatever business you have to do.”
But wait, there’s another trip to the super Walmart before we leave civilization behind…..

Battle of the Playlists...

We're making playlists for roadtrip music and it's coming down to blows. Can I spend one week with my two little angels listening to:

Souja Boy (did I even spell it right)

I wanna be a Billionaire (so freakin bad. Really! That's the lyrics)

Oh My Gosh

Cell Phone Diaster (something like that from Lady Gaga that talks about no reception in the club...do they even know what a club is?)

They are boycotting my "old fart" music of:

Jimmy Buffet

Mel Torme

Lois Armstrong

So we're compromising on: Zac Brown Band, Kenny Chesney and Katy Perry.

Just when I think they're growing up too fast both pull out last year's Vacation Bible School CD and put it in the pile. Sigh! Life is still good.

Now to taking a few of the comic books out of the backpack and putting a few workbooks back in! Any other playlist suggests that will satisfy both?

Don't think....just do!

With the RV booked, I now have too much to think about, and as I wake in the middle of the night in a panic attack, I use the same mantra I use at the beginning of any bucket list race, "Don't think about it, just do it." If I stopped to think about it, there are several things that come to mind:

My boys have been talking WAY too much about figuring out how the potty works on the RV. Guess who has to clean the thing out?

The largest vehicle I've ever driven in a Suburban, so of course I'm thinking about driving a 25 foot vehicle. I'm thinking about going to the dealership and test driving a very large hummer (boy someone could make some REALLY BAD jokes with that one) and get some experience.

I have to quit watching Criminal Minds until after the trip, most of the crazy bad guys are in search of people alone and wait a minute, didn't that last guy go into the RV park?

So I'll just push those thoughts from my mind as I get out my map, and figure out my route. My one caveat is that it's a route that I'm familiar with and there's people along the way. Sometimes you just have to put your face in the water and swim, I mean, climb in the seat and get the show on the road. Think I should put a lock on the toilet?

In the beginning there was the RV.....

The RV or recreational vehicle came 25 years before the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was almost as if they watched what happened with the RV and someone said, "We've got to find a COOL place for this to go!"

I like being adventurous and I love traveling with my family so we sat and brainstormed what to do over the summer. Like a good mother, I wanted something educational for my children (who haven't opened all the workbooks I purchased and the summer is HALFWAY over) but something fun. We came up with the RV/Blue Ridge Parkway idea watching the Robin Williams movie, RV. (Let's hope we don't end up like that) "Cool! It's like Disneyland on wheels!" My youngest explained when we looked at pictures of the vehicle, I guess if you're stuck in a car traveling the highways or byways it is considered Disneylandish if you can lay down and take a nap, fix a burrito in the microwave or pour a soda from the fridge.

So our vehicle is booked and I'm worried about whether or not I can drive something that big on the parkway or anywhere! We chose a mid size RV giving a great taste of the mobile outdoor life but nothing that I need to stop at weighing stations because of its size. We're starting outside of Asheville at one end of the parkway and driving 75 miles each day, stopping and finding campgrounds for the babybus and educational things along the way.

We're gasing up the RV, packing the suitcases and ready to go. Where would you go if you had Disneyland on Wheels?

Coming soon.....rules for the RV!