WTF - Porn on the Skilift and Ladies Day - Coincidence?

Dayum, really people, I know snow is exciting, but really?  This is my convo's with some dude on the ski lift.

Was it coincidence that he ended up on the same chair as me? I'm not so sure.

First ride:

"Ooooh, wow, yes, yes, yes!!!!"

I look over making sure there isn't someone on the chair in between us. Then I look down making sure all my assets are covered by protective clothing.

Ignore him, he's crazy, I tell myself.

Second ride up, he's with me again!

"The snow! It's like busting a load out there. I don't know what to do, wipe my face in the powder or ski it!"

My mouth hangs, then I notice the Florida Gators coat - wide open - the rental skis, and of course the jeans.

Ignore him, he's from Florida.

Next life ride, no kidding, is the dude waiting at the bottom until he sees my red coat?

"I'm going for the black one, I'm not sure if I should pull the trigger !"

I just nod and go back to wondering what black one?

Next ride later, I don't even look figuring he is next to me!

"I just busted a load on White Lightning! I swear it was the best experience of my life!"

I'm afraid to even acknowledge him, of course as I steal a look his way, noticing he is covered head to foot in white powder. No, not cocaine, but snow!  I realize he is talking about an epic wipe out!

I get my own chair this time on the life, in an odd sort of way, I actually miss the chap.

But he's back for the next one, wiping off his goggles, "Damn, someone needs to keep all this stuff from squirting on my goggles, I'd wipe it but it looks sticky. Does this look sticky to you?"

I turn back to my phone thinking maybe he will leave me alone if he thinks I am texting or in his mind sexting someone something.

He puts his goggles on and says, "I think goggle makes everything look bigger. Put yours on and take a look at me. Do I look bigger?"

I don't put on my goggles because with a mind hitting the gutter at 0-60 I'm not even going to acknowledge him.

Finally on the last lift ride up, I'm alone with a big sigh, until he one skis it into to catch the chair with me just as we go through the door.

"He adjusts his snow covered goggles, then shakes the snow off of his hat, looking over to me, "I've seen you before. Do you dance?"

I look at him, really?  "No, I live up here. We've been riding the lift together. My legs are tired, I think this is it for me."

He looks at me and smiles, "I can see how fresh powder between your legs can make them weak. I've rented a place for the weekend, maybe I'll see you around."

I dump him quickly at the top of the mountain.

Not any time soon,  my friend.  Changing jackets as we speak!

***

In case you missed it, this and other great lift conversations are in my book:

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See you on the slopes!