WTF - How to piss off your children edition

Don't get me wrong I love my children. But yesterday I played race car driver up and down Beech Mountain, so many times the police stopped me in front of Jackalopes asking if I was casing the joint!  Forgotten backpacks, forgotten homework, forgotten lunch boxes. I figured it was time for me to get back at them.  Here's some of my devious plans!!

Hide their chargers. Make sure you hide yours because you know they'll steal it.

Throw their clean clothes on the bed with their dirty clothes.  Never mind, they won't know the difference.  Take their favorite pair of jeans and hide them.

Make comments on all their Instagram photos. Something like, "Honey, you don't look as husky in that Throw Back Picture. Put up the one in the Husky Jeans!"

Ask them in front of their friends, "What's that song by New Direction you like?"

Tell them you left very important instructions on the counter at home.  Write them in cursive.

Screw up their language, "Wow, this lasagna is sick! Oh my God, your Dad was KILLIN IT with his bean recipe!"

Pick them up from school wearing their favorite beanie. ('cause we all know you can't fit in their jeans)

If they forget something, walk into the school in your Christmas PJs and braless sweatshirt, then wait for them!  When they act like they don't know you, wave and yell, "Sweetie!  I have your backpack!" (Guarantee they will NEVER forget it again!)

Call your son, "DUDE!"

Purposely mess up the names of their tricks, "Was that a 196 with a 327 back flip on the side bar?"  Or "Are you going to try the Beef Stroganoff with a Side of Gravy today?"

Purposely put baby food in their school lunch, things like Lunchables, tube apple sauce, Go Gurts and of course their favorite Jello pudding!  Don't forget to add the Fruitables box juice!  Better yet, put in your Prune Juice Smoothie with a note, "This will help make you regular sweetie!"

Change their ring tone to Back In Time by Pitbull or "Hopelessly Devoted by Olivia Newton John.

Send your picture to their Snapchat story. (Yeah kids, we parents know about Snapchat, we are hip!)

Turn your radio up and sing Open Arms by Journey as loud as you can as you pull up in the Carpool line.

And the best way to piss off your kids?

Tell them you signed up to chaperone the school dance

 or better yet.....

Smile and say, "Honey, we get to spend ALL DAY together! I signed up the chaperone your school field trip! Isn't that great?"

Can't you feel the love from their death stares?  I can.

What would you add?