Showing posts with label fighting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fighting. Show all posts

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Boys - what would you do?

My boys were getting into a fight in a public place, I watched as an adult grabbed the older one by the shirt and said something to him before pushing him away.  I am at a loss if I should have intervened or not.  Here's my take on it:


1.  Sometimes the younger one instigates it and no one sees that - he still has the cuteness factor on his side that makes everyone - including me - over look it.

2.  Yes, the older one is working on self control, and I did tell him to get his brother to do something that his brother DID NOT do.

3.  No, that does not condone him from bullying his brother but - do we use physical force to teach a lesson about physical force?

4.  Don't most brothers fight like that?  Or did I grow up in a different household?

I guess what I am working with here is whether or not I should have stepped in and said something or just let it play out the way I just did.  Here's why I let it play out.

1.  I tell the older one that he needs to learn control maybe someone else embarrassing him into it will make him think twice before his hormones are raging outbreaks.

2.  The younger one needs to see the consequences about his actions - his brother did tell him that I wanted them to do something that he specifically refused to do.  He understood that he brought this one on himself.

3.  I am sure the older one was showing off in front of a friend, and I am glad that this taught him that this doesn't end well.

In the end it had them both crying, which I think is a good thing, both learning lessons that I can tell them over and over again but until someone else says something it really doesn't resonate.   I watched them both apologize to each to each other and then take care of each other like brothers do.  They do love each other - they just annoy the hell out of each other.  

As I always say, "Be lucky that your brother loves you, because you annoy a stranger like that it is going to be much worse that you ever expected."

They learned that today.

Would you have let it play out or would you have stepped in, what do you think?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

When Boys Get Bored.....

It starts with the constant bang,
Something,
What is that?
Hitting the wall upstairs?

Trying to ignore it, you continue work

until
"Will you PUHHHLEASSE stop doing that?"

Voice from upstairs, "What?"

"Whatever you are doing!"

"Uh OK."  The banging continues, until you fling your reading glasses and march upstairs.

Two boys lay in bed, ball in hand.  They look over at you and then throw the ball against the wall - AGAIN.

"I asked you to stop doing that," you say.
"What?" One asks throwing the ball.
"That..." you say pointing to the ball.
"Oh, this," he holds up the ball.
You take a deep breath holding back the, "What in the hell did you think I was talking about - breathing?"  and simply grit out, "Yes, that."


Waiting a minute outside the door, making sure they actually heard you, then back downstairs hoping to concentrate.

Then more banging starts upstairs, this time elephants are moving furniture.
You hear, "STOP!"  From upstairs, and try desperately to ignore it.

You can't because it becomes a chorus of "STOP" until finally it sounds like someone's head has hit the floor.  Again, the reading glasses go down and you stop upstairs.  You fling open the door and there's your youngest lying on the floor with the older one sitting on top of him.

"Can you stop this please," you say.

They both look at you with an expression of, "What?  This?  But this is what we normally do."  The older one does not get off, you take a step toward him.  He senses something (your anger?) and gets up, the younger one gets up with a parting shot to his brother because Mom is there and this is the one time he can get away with it.

"Why don't you guys go outside," you ask.
"It's raining," they reply.
"Then find something to do," you say leaving the bedroom again.  This time much to your dismay they follow you downstairs, sitting at a computer on the couch.

"Max es un cabezazo y tira un pedo mucho," the computer says.  One starts to laugh.  The other says, "My turn."
Translation - Max is a butt head and farts a lot.

Give up now, at least nothing gets broken with Google Translate and they are actually learning Spanish.