Am I A Serial Killer?

Lately, the latest quiz sent over from all my bloody internet friends is determining whether or not I am serial killer.

My first thought is, hmmm, did they think, "Oh, we NEED to send Kelly this!"

And if so, why?




Sure I hold my Oreo cookies gleefully under the milk until the bubbles cease.
I do have an amazing collection of knives along with plenty of the reusable grocery bags to hide the body.  (What?  You don't collect reusable grocery bags too?)

There are a few times I've questioned whether or not I am related to Dexter, so I thought it would be a good idea to take the test.  Just to make things more complicated, my quiz is

Are you a sociopath, murder or serial killer

Oh goodness, what if I am all three.

The quiz starts with the usual questions.  Then I get hit with the hard one:  What is your favorite color?

Of course Kelly green is not listed.  Does this mean I am a serial killer?  Why is green not listed, did Hitler love the color green?  Or Gacy?  I have to choose something else, what if choosing red makes me a serial killer and yellow only a sociopath?  I'm going to choose Other.

What did I have for breakfast?  Granola, of course.  Why is one of the choices dog or cat food?  Is that the food of serial killers?

If your best friend shows up at your door panicking with a dead body what do you do?  Of course, I'd want to see who it was (did I know them) then I'd grab my trusty shovel and Wellingtons.  Oh wait, what about that bathtub full of lime in my basement?

More trick questions.  How many times did you watch American Psycho?  Once of course, there was much more information on how to hide a body on Criminal Minds than American Psycho.

How would you off someone?  I was surprised this question had the answer of bomb but not poison.  We must think about logistics here.

Do you believe in God?  Well of course I do but they are trying to throw me off with the answer of I believe in whiskey.  Which is true but only serial killers would get distracted like that, not me.

Finally, the proverbial question:  Why did the chicken cross the road?  My only answer, I like roast chicken.

As it ticked my results, I wondered what amount of therapy would I need if I truly am a serial killer.  When would I go for my first kill?

Whew!!

I am only 2% serial killer.

I am 60% boring, average person.
21% Murderer
and finally, only 7% Maniac

So, if I invite you to dinner, don't panic.  There's only a 30% chance I'm putting the rat poison in the chili, because I really want to see how that bathtub full of lime will work.

Are you worried you are a sociopath, murderer or serial killer?

Click http://www.gotoquiz.com/am_i_a_sociopath_serial_killer_or_murderer

PS.  This test had a disclaimer for Mothers, it fully understands that the urge to kill our children at certain times is completely normal and does make us a serial killer, sociopath or murderer.