Snake Wrangling Melang Style!

I don't like snakes, one of the bad things about having boys - one of which who loves snakes. So when I find the 6 foot snake all I can think about is KILLING the snake and removing it from the garage - thinking pitch fork, scythe, or machette style.

Then I pull into the garage and find a small black snake caught in a glue trap sitting in the middle and my first thought is to just throw it into the trash and let my fantasy come real. My son, however has another idea,
"Mom, we have to save it." He states looking at the snake.
"Save it? Why?" I'm getting the willys watching it move.
"Because it is God's creature..." He states.....dang, how can I argue with that.

He runs and disappears into the house and comes out with my dish gloves on, "How are we going to get him off the glue?"

I go back inside and thanks to quick typing fingers come up with a plan. Did you know that cooking on the snake will make it slippery enough to get off a clue trap?

We're out there with olive oil (poor snake) and gloves and I explain to Max that he has to hold the snakes head down while I try to open the trap. Each time the snake moves I squeal and jump up and down a few times trying to quell the heeby jeebys. "Why are you jumping up and down?"

"It's the only way to keep myself from running into the house and sitting in the corner sucking my thumb," I reply.

So we get the trap open, and the snake takes a swipe at me when Max lets go, Wolf shakes his head, "Not touching it, I'm going inside."

The snake lies there, it's mouth open at us......yeah, I'm a snake......I know you are trying to help me, but I must try to bite you......yeah, I'm a snake.....that's what I do.....

Fiften minutes later, several jumps, 26 squeals we have successfully freed the snake from the trap. He lays there exhausted next to the glue trap, we stand there looking at him exhausted too, but he is free.

"We did it...' Max Smiles....OK, I tell myself, it was worth it.

We watch him slither away and Max quietly says, "You know I think the snake skin we found in the garage was MUCH bigger than that....."

Oh dang, I'm screwed! Did you know you could use cooking oil to get a snake off a glue trap??

Who's in Charge here?

Most that know me, know that I cannot find my way out of a paper bag….so the invention of the GPS was a very welcome addition to my travels, saving me a lot of time so I thought. I went to visit my sister in St. Michaels and was trying to get back to Baltimore so I plugged in Baltimore and let the GPS do its magic to find me there.
I’m driving, and driving then start wondering when I’ve moved from major roads to very minor roads, my GPS still confident that it will get me where I am going.
“This isn’t the way I used to get there?” I talk to the air.
“Turn right on Ma N Pa Drive and follow for 8 tenths of a mile,” the GPS replies.
“But this is a gravel road,” I say as I kick up dust from the rental car.
“Turn right on RedNeck Lane then make an immediate left into Hatfield Family Lane,” the GPS replies confidently.
I take all these back roads wondering if I am going the right way, when I come out of the woods and right up to a dead end and WATER! “Take the Oxford Ferry,” my GPS states.
“What?” I look at a very old man standing at a small boat waving to me looking like, “well come on?”
“Take the Oxford Ferry,” the GPS says again.
“This isn’t the right way,” I whine to no one, the man still waving me on. Finally he gets frustrated and walks up to me. “Are you taking the Ferry?” He asks, I can almost feel the GPS saying, “That’s what I TOLD HER to do.”
“I’m trying to get to Baltimore,” I reply looking at the boat.
“What?” He looks at me like I’m crazy.
“Will this take me to Baltimore?” I ask.
“I don’t know…..” He replies looking at the car that just pulled up behind me, she’s looking more confident that me.
“My GPS said it would,” I hold up the GPS screen it is confident in its route pointing the way.
He looks at it, “Looks like it will, there’s someone waiting behind you, are you taking the ferry?”
“Can I turn around?” Looking at the wooden bridge to the ferry, pretty tight looks like I am pretty committed.
“Take the Oxford Ferry,” the GPS repeats, I almost catch myself saying, “Shaddup!”
“Ummm, not really, you’re in the lane to take the ferry, and someone’s waiting….” The captain of the boat is looking out his window like, “What in the hell is going on?”
“Take the Oxford Ferry,” the GPS repeats itself, I’m waiting for it to add “you idiot” to the line.

So I take the oxford ferry (11 dollars later) then follow the GPS through a beautiful small town along a bunch of other roads and back onto my highway and into more familiar territory. It was a surprise but fun byway, probably picked by the GPS because it knew I needed to slow down and enjoy the sights. Or I made a wrong turn and the GPs thought, “Oh she wants to take the scenic route……” Either way sometimes life can throw in a detour, rather than getting upset go with it and enjoy the ride!

105 heat and OCD not a good combination at Carowinds!

I decided that I really needed some new torture in my life, so I woke this kids invited a nephew and said, "Let's go to Carowinds!" You may think it's torture to head to a amusement park with 3 boys ALONE, but the torture was the 105 heat index melting the tires off the car as we pulled into the parking lot at 10am!

$56 dollars just to get in? I looked at the receipt wondering if there were tiffany necklaces for us Moms that brave the park alone and pay that amount of money to try very hard to throw up as much as possible.

Carowinds was covering their bases, announcing over the loudspeakers that "We at Carowinds want you to know that in this heat, there is free water through out the park. Remember to hydrate and early and often." The free water was a dixie cup with a few drops in it so Put down a mortgage payment and bought the huge refillable tankards of soda! Easy to carry with ice that melts within `15 minutes this was the cheapest option when dealing with heat, boys and soda.

Dressing for the heat allowed many to exit all semblence of decorum. Many men wore muscle shirts that stretched tight against very soft NON MUSCLED chests, women in bathing suit tops and tank tops they really shouldn't be wearing but on a hot summer day like today, we all got the pass. We forgot that a moo moo was unfashionable, that your boobs can slip out of a bathing suit top that's too small for you on a roller coaster than takes you up side down, we all just wanted to have fun!

I don't think I've ever sweated so much in my life. I was sweating looking at the roller coasters my son was dragging me on, sweating as I pulled out my wallet thinking that a stop at the plasma donar on the way home would cover the snack, sweating hiding in the shade while waiting for kids to come out of the bathroom.
My OCD personality hit high gear as my sweaty body would hit the vinyl seats of the ride and stick to them. As my hands stuck to the railings of the roller coaster ride and I tried not to think about the scary looking person who exited the ride before I took their seat.

The kids wondered why I spent so much time in the bathroom, it was to wash my hands! Plus I found the one and only air conditioned bathroom and told them to go ride a few rides while I took a nap on the toilet.

So there ya have it, Carowinds by the numbers: 11 roller coasters ridden, 4 gallons of liquid consumed, 3 gallons of said liquid including caffinated soda, 2 bottles of hand santizer used, 1 empty wallet at the end of the day.

Would I do it all again? You betcha! What do you think of sweaty bodies at amusement parks?