WTF - Vibra-Finger

One of my fine readers sent me this fine vintage advertisement, I thought I would share with you.  Here's a few interesting things:

Yes, I am sure the total caught your eye too.  Hmmm, a Vibra-Finger?  

I won't tell you where my imagination went (straight into the gutter.)

I see merit in this, yes everyone needs daily stimulation.

It stimulates tissue.

Increases and improves your circulation (and quite possibly, your mood.)

Oh yes, it is sanitary.  I fits in your HAND.

Then I wonder.

In which direction does the finger move?

Do you have to plug it in, or does it take 4 double A batteries.

If it takes batteries how long do they last, especially with daily use?

If it has the disclaimer that it is for personal use, why do they suggest you share one with a friend?

I can hear my phone call utilizing the "money back guarantee."

"I thought this was a massager.  And I tried my daily massage, but even with the high setting and the finger smoking, I did not feel refreshed and rejuvenated like the ad says."

I guess, I'll have to purchase the Vibra-Finger.

Heck, I'll purchase two and receive the dollar discount.

A girl can never have enough Vibra-Fingers.

Have you ordered yours?