I hopped, skipped and jumped my way back into the house after loading my minions into a car with a friend headed to the beach. The Hubby and I looked at each other, paused a moment and decided that we needed a Kids Aren't Home Contract. Here's a few points we came up with:10. Clothing is optional, no scaring little minds and having to pay for therapy years later.
9. Cooking is not required, and I am not touching a cereal box until my children come home.
8. There is no mention, at all, of any bodily function - especially pooping and farting.
7. A long shower is definitely necessary because there will be plenty of hot water and no one is wondering what in the world you are doing in the shower.
6. Watch R rated movies without worrying that someone snuck out of bed and was watching from the doorway.
5. Eating dinner over the sink so there's no dishes involved.
4. Dance like nobody is watching because finally, nobody is watching.3. Surf the internet without parental controls on - and tell nobody what you found.
2. Make yourself Ramen noodles.
1. Whatever happens at home, stays at home. No one talks, not even the dog. And you can't imagine the things she's seen.
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