WTF - Job Edition

I had the distinction (yes, I am dating myself) to work for Piedmont Airlines.  I got the job in reservations.  We answered the phones, booked travel reservations, took credit card numbers and mailed tickets directly to the flyer's home.  No, there wasn't cell phones, or etickets, or charges for luggage checking (unless you brought the body bag.)

The best part of being in the reservations department was working the night shift.  We made a whopping $72/week (part time 4 hours a day) BUT we got free travel benefits.  So at the ripe old age of twenty something - it was PERFECT.

Until you got the late night calls.

"Oh, I'm not booking travel.  I was just calling to see what color underpants you are wearing.  Hello?"

Two of my favorites:

"I want to go to Hippopotamus New York, from Orlando Florida."

"Hippopotamus New York?  Hold the line, let me search the city database."

"Is is any where close to New York?"

"I'm not sure, I have to be there for a wedding."

"I'm sorry I am not finding a Hippopotamus New York, Is it upstate?"

"Yes, someone said it is very cold."

"Upstate.  Hold on, checking.  Is it anywhere near Buffalo New York?"

"Oh, that's it!  I knew it was a big animals."

Yes, an actual conversation.  This second one actually existed because (did I mention I was old) I worked in Piedmont Airline reservations when airplanes were still broken into smoking sections and non-smoking sections.  The definition of smoking section is, the last row of first class and the back four to six rows of an airplane.  Every smoker sat, waiting, having DT's until the fasten seat belt light turned off so they could light up and blow smoke toward the non smoking part of the aircraft.  So yes, the non smoking and smoking sections really worked.  Not.

Here's my conversation with a caller that was slightly foreign.  Think in Indian accent.

"Yes, we do have seats available from San Francisco to New York La Guardia airport, shall I make the reservation for you?"

"Yes, please."

"With return 7 days later, round trip fare is $756 dollars.  Would you like to hold the seats?"

"Yes, it is." (I'm thinking "Wow, wish I had $756.")

"Great, Let's work on your seat assignments.  Would you like smoking or non-smoking?"

"Non smoking please."  (Like it will make a difference)

"OK, the only non-smoking seat available for your flight from San Francisco to LaGuardia is on the wing."

Pause.  Silence on the other line.  "But I want to be inside the airplane."

Pause, me thinking, what???  "Sir, you are inside the airplane, you are just sitting on the wing.  There is more leg room."

"No, it is more safe for me inside the airplane."

Me.  "Sir, there are rows of seats INSIDE the airplane, some of them sit on the wing but are still INSIDE the airplane.  Your seat is there."

"No, No.  I want to be inside the airplane."

(I give up) "How about a smoking seat inside the airplane?"

"Yes, that will do.  Will you check on the return to make sure I am inside the airplane?"

Poor dude rode around 6 or so hours in the smoking section, (probably next to the Marlboro Man)happy that he was inside the airplane.  Many of my colleagues at the time thoroughly enjoyed that story.

See, we don't need technology, just a good old fashioned job answering the phone, booking reservations for plenty of WTF moments.

Would you like a bag of peanuts with your seat inside the airplane?