Halloween Checklist

Five Reasons I like Halloween…

1. Screaming is fun - you can do it without people looking strangely at you.
2. Cleaning your home is optional, dust is a given in any haunted home - simply say it’s part of the decorations.
3. Nothing better than watching an expression on someone’s face as they are scared.
4. Many of the Elvira’s out there should not be an Elvira, be happy you can pull off an Elvira.
5. I can be happily married, most single people are always killed first in a horror movie.

Questions to ask yourself for Halloween:

1. Why do women think it’s OK to dress slutty for Halloween?
2. Why do many Moms think it’s OK to dress their daughter’s slutty for Halloween?
3. Why do most of these women not have a reason to dress slutty for Halloween?
4. If the power went out and there was a noise in your basement, would you go?
5. Who gave you the right to give me something healthy when trick or treating at your door?
6. What part of your sick personality makes it fun to scare the shit out of little kids?
7. Why does holding a kitchen knife make the perfect serial killer costume?
8. Do you think twice when you don’t dress up and no one asks you a question at a Halloween party?  What do they think you are?
9. If you scream out in the middle of the woods, does anyone in China hear you?
10. Why do most of the people in horror movies walk into that dark basement without any type of weapon?