Things I Am Always Up For......

In this fast paced world, I thought I'd let you know a few things I am always up for:

Gifts.  Especially when those gifts include books.

Gifts of books I haven't read before.
Spending an hour browsing around the used book store followed by an adult beverage at the establishment of your choice.
Going back to that bookstore for another hour of browsing.

Sitting outside anywhere on a sunny day chewing the fat.  Translation: baring our souls or talking about others, which is usually the same thing.

Birdwatching.  Especially when I see them first.

Looking at you while holding a pose in yoga and trying to hold in a laugh, or a fart. Guess they are both pretty much the same.

Exchanging clothing, especially exercise gear, heat gear and snow clothes.  I will take care of yours, I promise.

A trip to the office supply store, specifically for pens or journals or both.

Running naked anywhere.  Did I just say that?

Beating you down the mountain on my skis, then bragging about it.

Making up names for people, usually involving some type of adult beverage.  Remember Smarty Pants, and Shaniqua, and Vinegar Woman, or "Friend who sucked on a tree full of lemons"?

Someone coming and cleaning my boys' bathroom (I have a gas mask in case you need it)

Watching corny romantic comedies with chocolate and popcorn (possible adult beverage)

Hiking down, standing next to a waterfall and breathing in the moist air.

Artsy coffee mugs, or funny ones, as long as they are large.

Book Club.

So, if you are bored, or want a good laugh, or just need some company, you know where to find me.  Usually holding in a fart or laughing, which is usually the same thing.

This one is for my REAL girlfriends

If you are not a close friend, then stop reading now. I don't want to scar those that don't know me well.  This is for my close girl friends - My Plan Z.

Plan Z - definition please - if anything happens to me, and there is the possibility I MAY not make it, here's the stuff I need you to get out of my house.

There's several folders on my computer I want you to delete - Adam Levine, Fast and Furious, Yummy and Webcam photos - don't ask questions just delete them.

On my book shelf there's a book called "Poetry,"  I should have named it "Bad Poetry," because that's what it is, burn it.

The right hand drawer by my bed, take the whole thing and throw it in the neighbors trash.  That way if the can blows over in the wind, they will be look at as the derelicts not me.

Boudoir Photos - sure they were done when I actually had a body, but you know if they get on Facebook or worse put out at my wake, that cannot happen.  They are bottom bookshelf, behind the family bible.

The coconut bra - it's in my underwear drawer - you can have that one.

Finally, Make sure you make a copy of the folder blackmail pictures before Wolf or Max gets to it.  Jeff may need these to keep them in line during the highschool years or to give to the press when they become President and Vice President.

Thanks, what's your Plan Z for your girlfriends.  If life doesn't teach you anything, it screams it's short and definitely unpredictable.