Dive Bar Etiquette

Anyone working in Baltimore in the 80's remembers Club Hippo, a popular Mount Vernon Gay/Lesbian Bar.  The Hippo was a staple in the Mount Vernon Area, with several bars around it drawing a pretty good crowd on a Thursday night.  I came across this story, hate to see such a legend go.  Especially when the owner is 70 years old and working in the bar for 35 years (that's dedication.)

Here's the link for all you Hippo lovers.  Goodbye Hippo

My favorite Hippo memory started at a different bar.  Jeff and I were hanging with friends and we ran out of cigarettes.  (yes, I smoked a very long time ago, so sue me)  The machine was broken in the bar, so I yelled to Jeff that I was running across the street to a machine that worked.

"No problem."

I went over to one bar, and they had run out of the brand we wanted.  Ran over to the Hippo to use their cigarette machine.  As I was walking in the bar by myself, a friend I knew from High School was walking out by himself.

We both looked at each other.

"Um, I'm here to use the cigarette machine."  I said.

He paused.  "Oh, I was just here to use the ATM."  Then we passed each other in the doors of the bar.

We both ran into each other again later that evening, neither mentioning the Hippo.

Another favorite was the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta, GA.  This strip club, operating since 1965 probably hasn't been cleaned since 1965.  Our group would go to this bar because they served PBR, and it was dirt cheap, and there was nothing like watching Blondie, the stripper crush your PBR can in between her boobs.

I was waiting in line for the bathroom, and just like the Hippo, up walks a colleague from a well known business in Atlanta, who knew me as their Microsoft Visual Basic Trainer, suits and computers - Oh my!.

We look at each other.  I smile and say, "I'm here for the cheap PBR's."
He looks back at the elderly stripper as she crushes another can between her boobs replying, "Oh yeah, me too."

Have you ever been caught in a Dive Bar?  You'll never meet interesting people in just regular bars (Chili's, Bennigans, Waffle House), people that will give you insight on how to crush beer cans between your boobs, then look at your boobs,

saying, "Well, don't quit your day job honey."  At least now after a gazillion years later and two kids, I may just try.  Remember, if you hit a Dive Bar,  always be prepared with a great excuse when someone you don't want to see shows up in a place you're not supposed to be.

Goodbye Club Hippo, it's almost cliche,  they are tearing down the Club Hippo and Putting in a CVS.