Typical Melang Language

We, the Melangs have a language all our own. I thought I would share a few words with you.

Procaffinator - usually Mom, who procrastinates until that second cup of coffee finishing with a, "Oh shit!  We have ten minutes."

Goredom - that moment when you realize you've watched too many Walking Dead episodes and can still hear zombies after the television is off----looks over my shoulder.

Rerunuitis - watching  Criminal Minds episode until halfway through realizing you've seen this one before.

Reruneron - continuing watching that Criminal Minds because even thought you've seen it before you cannot remember the ending.

Ohyeahathon - finally getting to the end of that Criminal Minds and just as the climax comes, you remember the ending. Watching another episode of the show and the same thing happens again.

Suggestivitis - That fear that you may actually find out that your mother knows more than you do.

Expritius - a unknown fear of expiration dates on food, usually hitting children between the ages of 9-? where they cannot touch anything in the refrigerator that is two to four days from the expiration.

OJacardia - fear that the universe will implode if you consume the last drop of milk or OJ or any other liquid. Usually followed by Shelfopoly - putting the carton back on the shelf with that ominous last drop inside.

Ridiculitis  - the malady where a parent cannot stop laughing after a child gives explanation for current grades, usually followed by Severe Room Indenture - a childhood malady involving pale skin, non focusing pupils due to too much time spent in their room.

Teenager's Ear - this malady is usually accompanied by Fluttering Eyelid Syndrome when a parent asks them if they did all their chores.

Smeizure  - uncontrolled movement of arms, rolling of eyes, gnashing of teeth with possible loss of equilibrium the first five minutes after a parent takes a child's Smart Phone.

Gravity Assisted Stupidicus  - a child coming into the home, breathing heavy a large knot on their head staring with, "You are not going to believe this."

Incidentaloma - the brother coming in with Gravity Assisted Stupidicus causing failure to tell the whereabouts of his brother.

Life Receptical - the holding place of all things valuable - food, clothing, dishes, backpacks, sometimes called The Floor.

Fridgehole - the back part of the refrigerator holding your science experiments of the past 5 years, including the possible sister cell to Penicillin.